I have been quite short-tempered the past couple days. The slightest things have been annoying me, and my patience has been reduced to negative numbers on the tolerance scale.
Maybe I’ve had too much shitty food lately… too much anger-inducing dairy foods (is that a thing? maybe?) and not enough calming, magnesium-rich nuts, seeds, and veggies. (I really do know too much about nutrition for not being a professional about it in any way.)
The overwhelming feeling I’ve had the past couple weeks only abated during the weekend we were away from the city, the noise, and most of the people. And the heavy feelings of sadness, guilt, anger, and disappointment over family stuff are wearing on me. And with that, maybe I’m subconsciously dreading the holidays I used to love so much. Things have changed and not in the most ideal way. My heart is broken. But, I hope in time the cracks either heal or at least stop spreading from artery to artery.
All I can do at this point is:
- Eat better and exercise.
- Practice mindfulness and deep breathing. Lots of deep breathing.
- Realize I can only make myself happy. (And hope others are finding their way on their own…) And more importantly, know that my happiness is important despite many years of being conditioned to believe otherwise.
- Write. Spill all the feelings onto the pages of this blog, published or not. Pour the darkest parts of myself into the pages and the characters of my novel.
- And something I haven’t done in a while… give thanks for who and what I do have in this life.
So with that, here are my little love notes of gratitude…
♥ Finally settled into the new place. We had some hiccups as it seems to be the norm for us in Seattle, but it’s good. I like some aspects of living farther north better than downtown, but I also miss downtown. It’s weird. I want the more urban city living. I just don’t think downtown Seattle is the right fit for me.
♥ Had a great although exhausting time exploring with friends and family who came to visit in August. It’s interesting to get someone else’s perspective on Seattle. It seems like people either love it and set it up on this emerald pedestal or they think “Meh.”
♥ Autumn! And everything that comes with that. Pretty leaves, colder weather, boots, sweaters, roasted pumpkin seeds, and yes, pumpkin spice all the things! I’ll never tire of it. ;)
♥ Going on a couple road trips. One was a day trip to Artist Point, and then we just got back from a late anniversary celebration getaway to a unique, little cottage in the woods in Rhododendron, Oregon (pictured above).
♥ Falling snow! I miss snow so much! We actually saw falling snow on our way up the mountain to Artist Point at the end of September. And then, there was snow on the ground in Mt. Hood this past weekend when we visited Timberline Lodge (the hotel used for the exterior shots of Overlook Hotel in The Shining).
♥ Having such a supportive and understanding husband. He’s my favorite person, and I love hanging out with him. This past weekend of doing nothing except cuddling up by a fire with our pups in a cute little cottage in the woods was just what we needed. It pretty much rained the entire weekend, and we didn’t mind one bit.
What about you? Have you been like me and not done a little gratitude list in a long-ass time? Take a few minutes to think of a couple things! It does the mind good.
Have a great weekend, folks!
* The above image is of the ‘Little Yew Lodge’ on Airbnb.