When I’m feeling hopeless, lost, and honestly, a little down on myself, it usually always stems from the feeling of I haven’t accomplished much… that I haven’t contributed much to society… that I haven’t done much of anything with my life at all… and what pains me the most, that I haven’t made a difference.
It’s really hard to not feel that way sometimes when I hear and read about folks in their 20s and 30s who have started their own businesses or came up with some great idea or product. Or teenagers and twenty-somethings who have published best sellers.
And if you’re like me, nearing 40 and feeling like you have nothing to show for it, you think “Wow. I must be really lazy and unmotivated.”
Which if we were to be honest, I kind of am sometimes. I usually have a few spells a year when I wonder “What’s the point in writing?” What’s the point of going out and taking pictures?” “What’s the point in any of the things I’m doing? Of life!?”
Needless to say, the voices in my head can get pretty emo. Continue reading
We’re three weeks into 2015 already. How is that happening!? January is rapidly getting away from us!
So, how are y’all doing with your resolutions, goals, or new habits? No doubt you’ve fallen off the wagon already, right? Yeah… me too.
And ya know what, that’s OK. It happens to most (if not all) of us. The important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up about it or give up on your aspirations. Each day is a new day. Each moment is a new moment.
I don’t know about you, but I always, always want immediate results. Of course, life doesn’t work that way. The best things – the things you’ll be most proud of in your life… those things will take the most time and the most effort. Those are the things you will also find the most difficult to attain. However, the reward in the end and most importantly, the journey to get there, will be one of your proudest achievements.
So, don’t give up.
Go ahead and finish that snickers bar while hunched over your desk. I get it.
And after that? Get up off your ass, and take a walk. Even if it’s just for a few moments around the office. Grab a glass of water. Do some deep breathing. Stretch your legs. Release the stress in your neck and shoulders.
Then… let that moment go.
Get over the guilt of eating a candy bar when you should have had a piece of fruit or some light protein to get you through the rest of the workday. That moment is done and over with already. No take backs.
But… the next moment is a new moment. And… the next day is a new day.
So whatever wagon you’ve fallen off this new year, stop moaning and whining about being a failure and hop back on that wagon already.
You can do it.
*Image taken at Piers 62/63 on the Seattle waterfront – “If it makes you less sad, we’ll start talking again. You can tell me how vile I already know I am.”
Alright, let’s just get this out in the open right now. It’s confession time.
I… *big deep breath*… am a PC user.
Yep. A quasi-creative individual such as myself uses a PC. And not just any PC. A tiny, old HP Pavilion DM1 that I’ve pushed
to beyond its limits for the past four years or so running Photoshop and other intense, power-hungry applications.
Yep, I’ve edited photos on this thing. I cringe just thinking about it. I have no idea how my images truly look because yeah… a shoddy screen with a very small color gamut and horrible color accuracy to boot has been my go-to machine for image editing.
Yikes is right. Continue reading
A few things I think I’m good at:
- Reading (a lot)
- Rockin’ some big, messy hair
- Lovin’ on some cute pups
- Being sassy, grumpy, and a know-it-all.
- Wasting time & procrastinating
Now, on that last bit of ‘wasting time & procrastinating’… I seriously need to work on that this year. Once I get into doing something whether it’s cleaning, writing, or some other task, I get into a zone and become too legit to quit. Yeah… you can’t touch this. (Just roll with it, OK?) Continue reading
When the husband and I decided to move to Seattle, we had one friend in the area already and that was it. And, we were more than cool with that. A huge part of moving across the country was that we wanted a big life change…. to immerse ourselves into a new city, learn new things, discover more about ourselves, and make new friends.
We’re going a little slow on that mission currently, but I’m hoping after the holidays to bring some of those goals to fruition… Seattle Freeze or not! Even if that means I only make friends with Seattle transplants from the east coast. ;)
As the past four months of our time here has passed, we have had another friend move here. One more is on the way in the near future. And, I know of one other friend (maybe two) who may decide to call Seattle home next year.
Sounds cool, doesn’t it?
Actually, it makes me want to move. Continue reading
A lot of us choose to ignore our body’s little alerts, signs, and warnings, and I have a confession… I haven’t been listening for about a couple years. And now? Now, my body is protesting loud and clear to my misguided lifestyle choices.
A little backstory:
When I was 20 years old living in Cincinnati, I became quite ill. I had pains in my stomach. I had heartburn, belching, nausea, and vomiting. I couldn’t eat very much. What little I did eat took a lot of effort to keep down. This went on for a couple weeks or so while consuming Alka-Seltzer and I’m sure but can’t quite remember, various other antacids and the like. Eventually, I broke down crying from pain that my BFF and another roommate drove me to the emergency room.
Yay college! Continue reading
My peak moments of wanting to give up on my dreams and hopes for the future usually come at Springtime. It’s weird because Spring means renewal, rebirth, revival and other terms that usually denote something new age-y and full of hope, right?
Of course, it could very well be a seasonal or cyclical depression thing. Whatever the reason for when I feel lost and clueless on where I’m going in life and what I’m doing, Spring just summons all my doubts and insecurities to the surface. She doesn’t realize how her tactics make me feel… her taunting blossoms and come hither stare saying “Look at all the things you could accomplish! This is the time for you to be reborn… to bloom and flourish.” Continue reading
If someone asked you to describe yourself, what would you say? Would you say you feel OK about your hair but hate your blotchy, uneven and sometimes blemished skin? Or that maybe you like your eyes but hate your smile with its crowded teeth and significant overbite?
It seems we are quick to focus on what we perceive as our imperfections. I don’t know about you, but I see quite a few flaws in myself and could describe them in sharp detail… and moan on and on about them, I assure you. Not too long ago, I discovered my first tiny wrinkle in the crease of one of the vertical laugh lines around my mouth, and let me tell ya… it drives me bonkers.
Yet I recall a time when our wedding pictures were showcased on a blog, and one of the comments was from a lady that wrote, “They both have the BEST smiles!” And yes, ‘best’ was in all caps ’cause this lady meant business. And I remember thinking, Aw that’s nice, but she’s obviously delusional because my smile? The best? Not even close. Continue reading
The other day, I came across a tweet that read something along the lines of “Grateful to not be wearing my [blah, blah, blah] coat today!”
And then I was like, “Ugh, really?” And not because I was jealous of the nice, warm weather this person was enjoying.
OK, I am a little jealous of the weather.
But, I am more so just bothered by our modern, consumer driven lives centering around our fancy baubles.
(I’ll take any chance to use the word ‘baubles’, by the way.)
There were a few adjectives describing this article of clothing so the tweet (whether intentional or not) was phrased in a way that primarily focused on the author’s prized possession and not on the experience of the glorious weather itself.
And it made me sad that there are probably quite a few young ladies following this person, reading her tweets and thinking how more fulfilling their lives would be if they had a coat like that, if they had her clothes, if they had the same makeup she wears, etc., etc. Continue reading
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the most mundane tasks even when you’re just thinking about doing them and not doing them at all? Thinking about all the little things you need to do in addition to your daily life of work and connecting with your spouse or children or whatever it is that consumes the bulk of your existence. Routine things like feeding the dog, taking out the trash, cleaning your house, washing dishes, running errands, etc., etc. Interspersed throughout that to-do list, you begin to think “What am I doing? What is my purpose in this life?” or “I have no idea what the hell I’m doing!” or “I should be doing something greater and more meaningful!”
Wow. That escalated quickly.
Is it only me who thinks this way?
Really? You’re trying to tell me I’m the only one who questions the purpose of her existence on a regular basis?
Yeah, I didn’t think so. Continue reading