I have been on autopilot for the past couple days, feeling as though I am having an out of body experience as I watch myself go through the motions of normal, everyday life while allowing all the information that was hurled at me the previous few days to slowly leak its way into the processing part of my brain.
The past weekend was a whirlwind, a blur, at times a melodic symphony of soothing and encouraging words, and other times a slight cacophony to my delicate introverted ways. Because, you see, a while back I had this grandiose idea of attending my first writer’s conference with no magnificent manuscript in hand, no polished literary masterpiece, and ummm… (ha!) not even a concrete premise in mind for the 40,000 word slush pile I have stowed away on my computer like a wild, ravenous forest child guards her newfound loaf of stale bread. Continue reading
So yeah… it’s been four years now, right? It’s 2021? We’re all good? We got over our dumb moment? A moment that will live forever in the history books but did not doom us. Because we squashed that shit early in the beginning and didn’t suffer too dire of long-term consequences.
It’s still 2017?
It’s only been three fucking weeks!?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Let’s keep doing this stupid shit then. Continue reading
“Go back to where you came from.”
Such a vile statement.
Such a statement that I thought would maybe be phased out of our dialogue.
Such a statement that has sadly made a resurgence lately.
Let me first say my intention is not to pit whites against minorities here. If you have never had this phrase spat upon you, you have no way of understanding. I think we can all agree on that.
My intention is to explain how a lot of us are feeling after this election and even more so after the inauguration of a man I currently view as one of the worst human beings in the world. To truly understand racism or prejudice, you need to experience it firsthand. Continue reading
Saturday, January 21, 2017.
Saturday, the day after the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th president of the United States.
Saturday, a glorious, sunny day instead of the usual dreary, winter day in Seattle.
Saturday, an outpouring of love and support all across the globe. (Who knew this movement to march had gained such momentum!?)
Saturday, a day to make our presence known and our voices heard.
Saturday, a day to say, “No, we will not stand idly by while you take away our rights and threaten our lives, our health, and our freedoms.”
Saturday, a day where I was proud to stand and march with my fellow Americans: Muslim, Christian, atheist, deist, whatever the fuck you wanna believe, white, brown, black, yellow, all the fucking colors of the goddamn rainbow, gay, straight, transgender, male, female, young, and old.
Saturday, a day where each and every person was essentially saying to one another, “I got your back.”
Saturday, a beautiful day of peace and solidarity. ♥
Now, to those who say the marches did not/will not make a difference (especially you women and minorities… really baffles my mind, btw), check your blasé attitude at the door. Continue reading
Happy 2016, everyone!
I sincerely hope everyone had a great holiday season and are ready to take on the new year!
I used to make resolutions every damn year, and I have to admit I still make goals of some sort even though I know I am probably setting myself up for something other than stellar succes. This year, it’s a ‘must do’ list. I must eat more healthy food than non-healthy food. I must learn something new. I must write something every day. I must not give up on living a creative life.
I am hoping that with the ‘must’ in there, that it will mean something more to me and hence, I will actually do these things. So far, so good!
BUT… more often than not, I fail at some point in the year. But at the beginning of every year or every season, I still make goals. It’s more about my love of lists, I think.
I know it’s so easy to groan and roll your eyes when your friends, family, coworkers, and 3rd cousins once removed or whatnot start posting about their salads and whole foods, gluten-free, sugar-free, taste-free meals on Facebook. Because you know in a few weeks, you’re gonna see them checking in at the neighborhood hot dog stand at 2am and groaning about how they ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s on yet another lonely, boring Saturday night.
I get it. It’s annoying to see the same things happen over and over again. My advice? Get the fuck off Facebook. Make that YOUR goal this year: less social media, more real life interactions. AND, cut your friends some slack. They truly want to better themselves. Yes, maybe they’re going about it the wrong way with the wrong attitude. After all, it shouldn’t matter when you start a goal or resolution. Start them at any ol’ time of the year. But for those of us little fat kids at heart, it’s hard to not eat a goddamn piece of pie (or several pies) during the holidays. So, either help a sister out with her weight loss/get healthy goals or shut the fuck up.
And for those of you who are starting a new healthy habit or a “new you” goal, hang in there. If you fumble, get up, brush those cake crumbs off your lap, and try again. Perseverance is what will get you through this mess you got yourself into… no matter the naysayers. You’re gonna have to want it and want it bad. If you don’t, then you’re better off moving on to something else.
You got this. Happy New Year!
Stagnation. Despair. Hope.
Those are the three words that essentially describe how I had been feeling. And yes, that’s a contradictory mess that made up my headspace. It was very much a yo-yo spectrum of emotions cycling through me. The causes were wide and varied, and I will not go into much detail about that. But, I just thought I would share what has been helping and not helping me get through that little life slump of feeling hopeless and lost. Continue reading
Lately, things have been… well, stalled really. It’s like my little bubble of the world decided to slow way the fuck down while the rest of the world keeps chuggin’ right the fuck along.
And, fuck.. I don’t even know.
That’s how I feel about it and every other fucking thing. I feel like an angsty 20 year old college girl who just got dumped, and I’m gonna drown my sorrows in some Zima and croon at the top of my lungs to Garbage’s “Stupid Girl”.
If any 20-somethings or maybe even 30-somethings are reading this, they’re probably like “Lol wut?”
And to them, I’ll just say “Fuck you. Learn some goddamn proper grammar. And then, read up on the awesome culture of the early 90s. Fuck.” Continue reading
Let’s be honest here. I have no qualms in admitting my utter hatred of the human species.
I’m not a regular coffee drinker so when I do drink it, it’s like alcohol in that it makes me relentlessly spew the truth without any hesitation at all.
But of course, I obviously kid about hating people.
Anyway, I’ve been trying to drink more coffee because: Continue reading
Alright, internets. First step of recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?
Well, OK. Here goes…
I, dear internets, am a control freak.
I am a doer and not a delegator.
I am a firm believer in if you want something done right, you do it yourself.
I am a caretaker.
I am a clean freak.
I, dear internets, am exhausted.
More so mentally than physically, but exhausted, nonetheless.
People pop out mini versions of themselves so they are automatically granted a little army of minions to do all the annoying, time-consuming tasks of life like cleaning and such, right?
That’s what I thought.
Well, damn. I may be missing that boat. Continue reading
When I’m feeling hopeless, lost, and honestly, a little down on myself, it usually always stems from the feeling of I haven’t accomplished much… that I haven’t contributed much to society… that I haven’t done much of anything with my life at all… and what pains me the most, that I haven’t made a difference.
It’s really hard to not feel that way sometimes when I hear and read about folks in their 20s and 30s who have started their own businesses or came up with some great idea or product. Or teenagers and twenty-somethings who have published best sellers.
And if you’re like me, nearing 40 and feeling like you have nothing to show for it, you think “Wow. I must be really lazy and unmotivated.”
Which if we were to be honest, I kind of am sometimes. I usually have a few spells a year when I wonder “What’s the point in writing?” What’s the point of going out and taking pictures?” “What’s the point in any of the things I’m doing? Of life!?”
Needless to say, the voices in my head can get pretty emo. Continue reading